Love with Everything you Have!

January 9th, 2009 by missminameow

This was sent to me today and I laughed so hard I had to share it!
Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to,
doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. 

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while 
they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph suddenly jumped 
into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. 

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled 
him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna’s heroic act 
she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she 
now considered her to be mentally stable. 

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, ‘Edna, I have good news and
bad news. The good news is you’re being discharged, since you were able to 
rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the 
person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. 

The bad news is; Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe 
belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he’s dead. Edna replied

‘He didn’t hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?’

New Years Eve Antics

January 1st, 2009 by missminameow

I have every intention of writing about this past year. I will get to it hopefully soon, but first things first. I have to write a little about the amusement of last night before I forget any more detail about it. Bwahahaha!

Originally I had every intention of staying home last night. Didn’t feel like going out and driving, and I was quite content staying home with my bottle of champagne, a good movie, and hopefully getting some editing done so I can send the rest of my stuff off to the webmaster to get my website together. I swear that was my original plan! To be the ultimate flake=) Things didn’t turn out that way…lucky for me.

A friend of mine invited me out to a local dive bar with him, his beautiful lady and their roommate. I decided this would be a much better way to start the new year so I agreed to go, they picked me up and off we went. Showed up at the bar and drinking and conversation commenced.

Now I should point out that there seems to be different types of people when it comes to the ability for one to hold his or her alcohol. You have the people who can drink like a damn fish and still not develop obnoxious or embarrassing behavior, you may not even be able to tell if they are drunk amazingly. There are the people who seem to loose more and more clothing with every drink (I at times fit into this category). You have people who you can’t understand a damn thing they are saying because they turn into drunk rambling mumblers, the fighters, you also have the people who just start saying all the wrong things and turn into complete assholes. There are many more different types I am sure but this last category is the one I will be focusing on at the moment. Heh…

Needless to say my friend’s roommate had a little, ok a lot, too much to drink. For some reason that seems to be my effect on men lately. He went from being nice guy to how many rude out of control things can come out of this guys mouth!? It made for an entertaining evening that is for sure. Thankfully I have a sense of humor=) 

Things started with him wanting to make a bet for a $1000 that he could get a fat girl to come home with him. Which in the course of things turned into him saying to me “how about I just give you a $1000 for sex?” Followed by a few other choice comments followed by me throwing my drink in his face and then slapping him across the face. I then threw one of the bar rags at him and made him wipe down the bar cleaning up my mess. Which for some reason prompted him to tell me he loved me, my only reply that I could come up with was to inform him that he missed a spot. Now after this he decided I was his target for the rest of the night and would not stop, saying how he would really like to fuck me, offering to drink a gallon of my piss, and many other things I cannot remember at this time. I was pretty drunk by the time he decided to go pass out in his car for the rest of the night. Thankfully for me. I will say it did add a level of amusement to the evening however. Apparently he was in rare form last night. My friend and his girl said they have known him for years and said he can get bad when he drinks but they have never seen him like that before. Lucky me! LOL! I should give him credit for giving me one of the more smother lines that I have heard in a while however. Before the drinking started him on his downward spiral he asked for my number so he could apologize later, lol! Smooth!

I will admit that when I drink I either get really silly and goofy, or I end up mostly naked bent over a spanking bench with some hot women taking advantage of me (oh no! My life sucks let me tell you.), I try my best not to be an asshole even though I know sometimes things just slip out. I should also point out that I am the queen at drunk phone calls and texts. In fact I bring drunk texting to a whole new level. Bwahahaha! So to those of you who may have received a drunk text or phone call, sorry! Hopefully it was entertaining. Apparently I tried calling Natalie at 3 am, which I have no memory of doing, but boy did I hear about it this morning. Oops. I also apparently called a few guys, which I am going to have to say now that I don’t remember doing it and I certainly don’t remember what I might have said. Honest! I think I should go with the line, if I don’t remember doing it, it must not have happened. Sure let’s try that one and see how far that gets me.

So I am starting out the year with a bunch of laughter and a mild hangover. Not a bad way to start the year I think. I have high hopes that this year will be better than the last.

I got some entertaining messages last night during the course of the evening but I want to share my favorite that got sent to my friend that I made him forward to me. It shares my sentiments over the last year and makes me laugh.

Dear 2008,

You and your sister, 2007, REALLY sucked. And not in a good way. 2009 is my new bitch. Sorry, I’m just not that into you.

Happy New Year Everyone!

Old School weight watchers hysterical!

December 26th, 2008 by missminameow

So yesterday I was hiking with one of my friend’s and she told me about this site, and said I had to go to a peek. Weight watchers recipe cards from I don’t know, the 70s maybe? I started reading them and just couldn’t stop laughing! I was laughing so hard I was nearly crying. So I, ahem, “borrowed” the link from Kylie Ireland’s blog to post here so the rest of you can hopefully get the same humor out of them I did. 

I just have to wonder, is that what Weight Watchers recommended back then? Seriously!? Thank goodness we have advanced….

The Day the Earth Stood Still

December 22nd, 2008 by missminameow

I went saw this movie last night with Satine Phoenix, January Seraph, and N. I had heard a lot of mixed reviews on it so I wasn’t sure how I was going to like the film. I actually really enjoyed it! Keanu Reeves did a pretty good job, and I thought the story was well portrayed. 

On sadder news, I had some how lost my hot dog before the movie started. I don’t know why but every time I go to the movies I get almost same thing: water bottle, red vines, maybe a small popcorn and of course my hot dog. For some strange reason I have developed a taste for movie theater hot dogs, maybe it doesn’t have so much to do with the taste as it does the shape hehe. So after finally being handed mine, I ran to go meet January and N at the front to hand them their ticket and it must have fallen out of my purse with all my bouncing around. By time we got to our seats and I was ready to start devouring it, the thing was no wear to be found=( Oh well….I guess that was the universe’s way of saying I really didn’t need to eat it anyway…